My jumbled memories flashing through my mind. My brain cannot make any sense from the vivid images that I call memories. They come flooding every time I find a moment of quiet. Silence hurts me from within me. Unsure of what hurts, I rest my hands on my heart, then my head, my midriff, and my thighs.
I turn to look in the mirror. My hands shoot up to my receding hairline, smoothing the thinning and graying strands. Questioning at the state of my hair. My eyes catch sight of the photograph I stuck to the top of my mirror. The picture of a happy, healthy and beaming me just five short years ago catches my eye.
I stare at my full head of hair in the picture, noticing my glowing skin and bright eyes. Staring at my reflection, I notice the dark bags under my eyes, my skin dull around my face and neck. The sudden increase in my wrinkles irks me, as do my glazed eyes. My whole body feels burned out and in need of a break and soon.
My whole body is in flux, as if in disagreement with my inner self. Each one of my body parts seems to have a mind of its own. Discombobulated, my mind and body respond with overwhelming fatigue. I am anxious, irritable, and unsettled. My emotions are flooded and my thoughts frayed. I sit and then lay back down on my bed, frustrated and disappointed with myself. My mind is numb, my stomach tight as anxiety slowly takes over. My tears flowing freely onto my pillow, as I let my body just be.
Suddenly, I remember my last conversation with my therapist and sit up. The breathing exercises are so simple and easy to do on my own. I sit upright, with my feet planted firmly on the floor. M palms rest flat on my thighs. Straightening my back, with my eyes closed but relaxed, I take in two short, sharp breaths, then breathe out slowly. Immediately, I begin to feel the tension leave me. I let my thoughts drift past, not thinking about any one of them. They float away, like water in a large river, gently floating down-stream. My breaths calming and easing both my mind and body. I can feel the tension in my neck soothing away. My breathing is light and easy. My fears and anxious thoughts gently eased away. My mind is at peace in minutes as my eyes are at rest. I stay in this state for minutes and notice my whole being is relaxing and rejuvenating ever so slightly.
The only thoughts I have are gratitude, as my sense of peace envelopes my being. My peace blanket comforts, soothing and edging away all my troubles, as I let my thoughts stabilise in gratitude. Once I open my eyes, I see all my surroundings as new. I can feel the smile on the inside of me. Every body organ is reverting to its natural calm state, as is my mind. My heart is filling and overflowing with gratitude. Restoring a sense of growth and maturity , I consciously ease into it and let the pain go. It served its purpose leading and prompting me to take responsibility loving myself into rest and recovery. I can face the day with a renewed mind and at peace.
Short Stories & Poems by WarmBreezeBliss 